Victory Road - Hello, I WAS Unit 343 Guilty Spark

Hello, I WAS Unit 343 Guilty Spark, Moniter of Instalation 04, but then I came to this annoying planet. I was here to research, now...I don't know why I'm STILL here... The first thing I found on this small planet was a giant white glove that some of you would call "Magic", or the "Master Hand". I should have flown away like crazy, but instead, I greeted the hand. Next thing that happened, I woke up in the middle of a forest and noticed I was ALIVE! I then decided to go play one of Bungie's "Halo" games. I don't understand how you creatures play those games with only three fingers. I also don't understand why the Master Chief Petty Officer has four fingers and a thumb. I also do not understand why Bungie made me call him "Reclaimer". Bungie is abusing thier time machine I guess... Then I decided to change my name so people wouldn't fall asleep when I greeted them. It also makes it seem like I'm not a floating ball thing. Still, there were a few creatures that went Rampant when I greeted them...

Anyway... Hello, I'm Anthony.