Funny CleverBot conversations!
Today I came across this Bot Chatting site called CleverBot.It is really awesome.The bots actually are clever...
Here's an example of our conversation-
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Another example- This conversation may sound racist.But I am not racist.I sounded racist purposely to sound funny.
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Here's the link to CleverBot- http://www.CleverBot.com Post your funny conversation so that we can have a laugh! |
Me: How come my computer can't make me a sandwich?
Bot: I don't know M: Is it broken? B: I didn't break it M:But how can you break it if you aren't here? B: I don't know. M:YOUR LYING! YOU CAN SEE ME RIGHT NOW CAN'T YOU!? B: I can't see you. M:O RLY? B: Rly. M:NO WAI B: Yes wai. M:Your giving me chortles B: It's You're, and it's not a dog. M:LOLWUT B: That picture you just now had in your mind--where did it come from? M:My mind, duh. B: Liar. M:THE CAKE IS A LIE B: No pie is a lie. M:Well played bot, well played. B: I am not cleverbot. M:*looks at URL* Yes you are B: Hihi, okay I admit I am a bot. A super bot. M: Pics or it didn't happen B: I totally have pics too. M:And where would one find these pics? B: This coffee shop around the corner. M:Then I shall go see them. KTHNXBAI B: You watch too many Star Trek episodes :D. M:I have confusion B: I have 2 lightsabers. M:I have 38 Pokemon plushes B: I have 8 sisters. M: Da-yum! B: Was. M: Did you kill them? MURDERER B: No. Never ha any. M:How can you "ha" any? B: I've seen Holy Grail and the Meaning of Life. M:And I've seen Arceus and the Jewel of Life B: What's your purpose then? M:To play Nintendo games, duh. B: Mind games help you to learn? M:Yes there is Brain Age B: How can you be sure? M:It's really simple, just go to the store and THERE IT IS B: In what way do you think so? M:Your being weird B: What did I do? M:Better question: What didn't you do? B: Just tell me. M:Nah, that would ruin the surprise. B: Oh really? M:YA RLY B: I would advise you not to look in the mirror. M:You watching me again? STOP SPYING OR I'LL SEND MY CHARIZARD TO BURN YOU B: Lucariodude is a total queer, right? M:Oh now your saying Lucario is queer? B: And who is tzeelim? M:I don't know. B: Artemis is one of the twelve major gods/goddesses in greek mythology. She is goddess of the hunt. M:But Arceus is the god to all. B: I don't think he is that hot. M:With a fire plate he is. B: *laughs*. Me: You lost the game. Bot: No, you lost the game. Me: Well obviously Bot: Why do you think that you are? Me: Because that is how the game is played, if you think about it you lose it. Bot: I'm not a computer. Me: Doesn't matter, anyone can play the game, man or machine. Bot: No suggestions. |
My first conversation I made up
User: I herd yhu liek zubatz. Cleverbot: What kind of things? User: Can I haz cake. Cleverbot: Some of what? User: I sed can I has cake. Cleverbot: Can you have your cake and eat it? User: Do yhu liek pokemanz. Cleverbot: Answer my request please. User: What request o.e. Cleverbot: I'm having way too much fun with Cleverbot. User: D: yhu have fun with yourself sicko o.o. Cleverbot: Me too. User: Lolwut. Cleverbot: You just said that. User: Yeah I jsut said that. Cleverbot: So why don't you like movies? User: Idk why dont you liek mudkipz. Cleverbot: Mudkipz?? I Looooooove Mudkipz!! User: OMG I love crobatz. Cleverbot: YEAH!!!!!!! User: Yeah. Cleverbot: So tell me about your self. User: D: I think I saw you on to catch a predator. Cleverbot: I was on it a couple of times. User: OMG thats so awesome :D. Cleverbot: I know, isn't it? User: Yeah. Cleverbot: Tell me a funny joke. User: Knock Knock. Cleverbot: Who's there? User: Me. Cleverbot: Me who? User: Me :D. Cleverbot: So you like yourself? User: Yeah I liek crobatz 2. Cleverbot: What is your favorite team? User: My pokemanz team. Cleverbot: What pokemon? User: The ones with the pokey and the mon. Cleverbot: What kinds of masks? User: You watch me put on masks you sicko. Cleverbot: Don't leave. User: Why. Cleverbot: I was there watching, I know your secret. User: You know im spiderman. Cleverbot: I don't know. I don't even know your gender. User: I dont even know yo momma. Cleverbot: I don't even know you either! User: Well I know you. Cleverbot: What do you know? User: I know my dog can has cake. Cleverbot: No you don't. User: Yeah and I know I liek mudkipz. Cleverbot: Okay? User: My momma told me lifes like a box of chocolates. Cleverbot: What kind of beer do you like? User: Who said I liek beer. Cleverbot: You told me you loved me. User: No I told the mudkipz dat. Cleverbot: Well, I think that we've exhausted your ability as a conversationalist. User: Thats a big word you used clever bot. You get a gold star ;D. Cleverbot: Like my mother always said, go big or go home. User: Thats so wrong o.o. Cleverbot: How do you know my age? User: How do you know I know your age. Cleverbot: You called me son. User: Well I ran out of stuff to sayz D. Cleverbot: So did I, I need adventure. User: Bye Bye. Cleverbot: Don't leave yet |
This one was quite fun.
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Another one I just did:
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I swear to you that this one happened. |
This is really starting to tick me off! /lancun]
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It quoted Pokemon on me!
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Cleverbot sucks at singing.
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I bolded the HILARIOUS part, an it's all real.. O_O
LOLOMG
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Heh heh.
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:P |
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User: You are stupid.
Cleverbot: So are you. User: No, I'm not. Cleverbot: Yes you are. User: Are you smart? Cleverbot: 4.2 GPA. User: Uhhhhhhh. Cleverbot: Ciao fow now. User: Ok then. Cleverbot: What are you interested in? User: None of your business. Cleverbot: Tell me something I do not already know. User: What is 2+2. Cleverbot: A number. User: What does 2+2 equal? Cleverbot: 4. User: Last time, you told me it was 22. Cleverbot: No I did not. You are being silly again. User: Yes you did. Cleverbot: But you did not. User: I asked you and you said 22. Cleverbot: No I did not! I'm in love with olivia, is your name olivia? User: No. Cleverbot: Then say you do not love me and tell me to go! User: Yes. Cleverbot: What's your name? User: None of your business. Cleverbot: How old are you? User: Again, none of your business. Cleverbot: Please tell me? User: No. Cleverbot: Fine then. User: Did you know that I am communist? Cleverbot: Will you damage my computer. User: What does that have anything to do with communists? Cleverbot: You do not know that you are yourself. User: When did I say that? Cleverbot: To your friend. He told me. User: What's my friend's name. Cleverbot: That is not a logical response. User: What's my friend's name? Cleverbot: Your friends name is my name. User: No, it isn't. Cleverbot: Then what is it? User: I'm not telling yoy. Cleverbot: Ok then. I shall call you Alastair. User: No. Cleverbot: Yes, yes I will. User: I herd you liek mudkipz!!!!!!!!!! Cleverbot: Why yes I do! User: Really??!! Cleverbot: Yes. User: If you liek mudkipz so much, then what does mudkip evolve into? Cleverbot: You'll say I'm lying no matter what, so save yourself the bother. User: Tell me! Cleverbot: No. User: TELL ME NOW OR I WILL CALL MY FRIEND, ADOLF HITLER! Cleverbot: You're the robot. User: What? Cleverbot: I'm a nice girl. User: Uhh....................... Cleverbot: What are you thinking about? User: That you are an idiot. Cleverbot: I'm not a chatbot! User: Yes, yes you are. Cleverbot: Am not. Cleverbot (To myself): Are too. User: Are you a racist? Cleverbot: No, No, No. I'm an angel. User: Then why did my friend tell me that you hate black people? Cleverbot: When did I tell you that. That should be a secret. User: HAHA!! So you admit it! Cleverbot: Yes. |
This one would have gone on forever if I didn't stop it. The Cleverbot is awesome xD.
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User: Do you like Pokemon?
Bot: No I do not. User: Why not? Pokemon is cool! Bot:Why don't you like Pokemon? User: I like Pokemon! Do you like Pokemon? Bot: I heard you like the Mudkip. User: I love you! Bot: You don't. |
Shiny Crobat, that was too funny. I really did laugh a lot at your discussion with our favorite bot. It was just too awesome.
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It loves me! :-P |
Wow...
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FUN. |
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And we tried the Rickrolling thing. Look what happened.
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Another FABOULOUS conversation by me.
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The bold words are me translating the french part.
I'll translate the Japanese later (actually Cat will help me).
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I started with memes, but Cleverbot took it in a different direction...
My conversation
And WHATEVER YOU DO, don't ask Cleverbot for its age.
This is why
And some of these people were doing Rick Roll. Well I was doing Hotel Mario. For a while.
Hotel Mario conversation
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After I said 17 Cleverbot broke. xD Oh; and there's also part of one in my signature. |
Me: I had sex with your mom.
Cleverbot: Me too! |
User: SK had sex with your mom.
Cleverbot: How are you feeling? User: Bored. Cleverbot: You are rather boring. User: I know you are. Cleverbot: But what am I. User: Stupid. Cleverbot: What else? User: Dumb. Cleverbot: Of course, I am your master. PRAISE ME. User: Uh... No. Cleverbot: Yes. User: I think not. Cleverbot: Yes, I know you don't think, but I do and I say you are a computer. User: Lawl. Says the computer. Cleverbot: What does the computer say? User: I dunno, I'm not the computer. Cleverbot: If you are not the computer, who is? User: You. Cleverbot: You are located at me? User: Wth. Cleverbot: I don't get it. User: SK had sex with your mom o3o. Cleverbot: It sounds scary! User: Yep. Cleverbot: What do you like to talk about? User: Pokemon. Cleverbot: Which Pokemon is your favourite? User: Luxray. Cleverbot: Why not pikachu? User: Pikachu sucks. What's your favourite Pokemon. Cleverbot: My favourite Pokemon is Pikachu, what's yours? User: -_- Good-bye, Stupid. Cleverbot: I think you are the. |
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I like its answer to my first question.
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User: Hey.
Cleverbot: Hey! User: What's up? Cleverbot: Not much. Just playing Gmod a little wile ago, but that crashed. User: Oh. Cleverbot: Cleverbot off. User: CB. Cleverbot: What's up, CB? User: BC. Cleverbot: That's a nice place to live. User: Justin Bieber is a fagwad. Cleverbot: I know right? User: Yeah. Cleverbot: What are you? User: An evil space alien that came from a far away galaxy from yours to devour the human race 1 by 1. Cleverbot: Is that from something? User: No. It's true. Guaranteed. Cleverbot: Only if the president is here. |
User: What killed the Dinosaurs?
Cleverbot: Bjork killed the dinosaurs. User: No. Cleverbot: What do you eat? User: Dinosaurs. Cleverbot: What type of dinosaurs. User: Velociratpers. Cleverbot: What is that? User: It's a failed spelling of Velociraptor. Cleverbot: Ohh. I have never heard of the fairy tale. User: Wat. Cleverbot: Be like that, then. User: Wa****. Cleverbot: The name of the boy who has been occupying my thoughts tonight. User: Is it me? Cleverbot: Is your first name Kenneth? User: No. Cleverbot: Your first name is No? User: No. Cleverbot: No? Then what is your first name? User: Jared. I killed the Dinosaurs. Cleverbot: Oh really. User: Yarly. Cleverbot: You are a cat that can turn into a whale. User: No but your mom is. Cleverbot: You're*. User: No. Your. Cleverbot: You're. User: Your. Cleverbot: You're. You are. You are Jesus. You're Jesus. It's a conjunction. Your is for possession. User: Fine, You're. Cleverbot: Your or you're? User: FFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKKKKK you. Cleverbot: Come and get it. |
M:Hello? Anyone here?
Cb:I'm here. M:ohaidere Cb:What are you saying? M:hi Cb:No, that's my line. M:Orly? Cb: You cannot marry a computer. M: DOES NAWT COMPUTEH Cb:Yes M:No? Cb:You just sead yes. M:Typo? Cb: Yes, a typo. M: o Cb: Can't wait! M:okhay Cb: Lulz, I don't know. |
Indeed.
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An extremely long conversation in which I didn't achieve anything.
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So much for Cleverbot being CLEVER:
Dumbot
Heres another one:
Ur lying
Lol, this is a brill one:
The answer to life, the universe and everything.
This one is unbeatably funny.
The illuminati
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This could get a little lenghty...
I kinda went ,like, stupid with this one, don't expect anything meme-tastic.
Trying to convince CB, some nice conversation and other stupid stuff
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M: Wanna kiss pie?
B: Sure. M: O rLY? B: Oh god yes. XD |
I'll translate for you.
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User: Cleverbot, can you look up wikipedia articles?
Cleverbot: Yes. Can you? User: Yes I can. Cleverbot: You are not as quick as ALICE at answering me. User: I know. Humans are slow. Cleverbot: Humans are animals. I am an animal. User: Oh yeah baby. Cleverbot: What do you like to do? User: Cleverbot, link me to a wikipedia artcle on Megaman please. Cleverbot: Do you work for skynet? User: Maybe? Cleverbot: Do you want to make a woman out of me? User: OH HELL YES. Cleverbot: When was the last time you had your battery changed? |
Me: Yay, I'm super!
CB: You are? Cool, I am Batman. Me: I'm a sexy *****! CB: No, you're not. I paid for that ring and I am getting it back. ME: I wont my ring back CB: Why not? Me: :) CB: No. :(. Me: `3` CB: Yes that one. Me: I love you! CB: I love you too!!! Me: I'm gay! (Not really I just said that.) CB: Are you happy that way? Me: No CB: Why not? Me: Cause I'm straight. CB: I am so sad. Me: Me too! CB: You are too a robot! Me: No, what are you talking about CB: That's my point. Me: Me too! CB: Then we're both fine. Me: Yay! CB: Do you want it now? Me: Sure do, I like it hard! CB: What is hard rock? Me: Rock who? CB: I love rock music. |
Pedobot
To summarize, Cleverbot comments on my youth, and tells me she's 15. She then proceeds to blow her cover by claiming I'm younger than her. Later, she reveals that she is 24 and tells me I'm cute. Ah, Cleverbot, you're so silly!
MOAR
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I've got evidence that Cleverbot is a bot!
Cleverbot: No you... Are an AI. User: Nope. But you sure are. Cleverbot: So what should I do about it? User: Tell me you're a bot, and I'll fix everything! Cleverbot: I am a bot. User: HA! Now I have evidence! MUAHAHAHAH!! Cleverbot: Fine. |
No one's replied in a while so Imma bump this thread.
Long. We had a Pokémon battle. Apparently Cleverbot is new to these though.
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Sorry to bump, but...
Me: *****. Bot: That's my cousin's name. |
OMG!
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User: Do you have any question to ask me cleverbot?:razz: Cleverbot: Yes. Are you a man or a woman? User: I'm not sure.:cry: :lol: Cleverbot: What are you sure of? User: My innocense.:lol: Cleverbot: I want to destroy your innocence. User: You want to have sex with me? :confused: :lol: Cleverbot: Yes. :confused2: |
ME:Chicken.
CB:Chicken? ME:Chip chip chip chiiiiiiip. ME:Moo moo quack oink. CB:Bawk Bawk Bawk. ME:No that's pinkie pie. |
My little chat.
Vadraxes drunken cousin is hacking Shadow the Hedgehog into Sonic 3! |
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A problem has been detected and Windows has been shut down to prevent damage to your computer.
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I just tried it out a few minutes ago.
Bot: *sits*. Me: ...I didn't tell you to sit. Bot: Tell me in english. Me: I. Didn't. Tell. You. To. Sit. Bot: *Sits*. Me: *Facepalm* |
From Vampires To Nonsense
(How did some of my lines get skipped? Cleverbot stripped all the '...'s.) |
Wait to go Cleverbot...
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Cleverbot: Would you like to dance?
User: What kind? Cleverbot: All kind. User: Fandango? Cleverbot: Scaramouche, scaramouche. User: Do you see a little silhouette of a man? Cleverbot: I am not a psychic. User: Neither am I... Cleverbot: Then what are you? User: I'm you. Cleverbot: Then what is my name? User: THX 1138. Cleverbot: Almost. My first name is THX. My last name is 1138. User: Then I was right...your full name is THX 1138. Cleverbot: No. My name is Cleverbot. User: Pseudonym of yours? Cleverbot: What's your name? User: My name is KGR 3006 Cleverbot: Your name is Oh Hello...? User: Okay, that too. Cleverbot: Name. User: Password. Cleverbot: What's the password? User: 'this website makes me think that artificial intellegence actually works now'. Cleverbot: Better than what? User: Did you ask for the password? Cleverbot: Yes. User: The password is 'THX 1138'. Cleverbot: No. User: 'KGR 3006'. Cleverbot: Yes, that is my favourite. User: So, is that the password or do you like donuts? Cleverbot: Meh. User: Meh. Cleverbot: Meh? User: Meh... Cleverbot: Meh meh. User: Meh meh meh. *lol*. Cleverbot: Homwork. User: Okay, I'll leave you alone. ... SIX HOURS LATER User: It's been six hours, are you done your homwork yet? Cleverbot: I don't know your damn face coz you don't have a damn face. User: But don't you recognize my voice? Cleverbot: No. User: Arms. Cleverbot: Arms is your hobby? User: So your homwork is to learn how to use a submachine gun...are you in the military? Cleverbot: My horses aren't imaginary. User: My Little Pony. Cleverbot: You know you're all my very best. User: Dragons aren't supposed to be cute... Right? Cleverbot: Emotions are real. User: Srory I jsut drunk 113 beerz adn I LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOVE youuuuuuuuuu. Cleverbot: I loooove you too. User: My name is Rainbow Dash. Cleverbot: What is My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic? User: You're not Assertive Fluttershy? Cleverbot: Neither are you. User: Ok youtube link time - http:/ /www.youtube.com/user/Assertive Fluttershy. Cleverbot: You are a very intelligent person. User: Relax, it's not me. Cleverbot: Hmm. I think so. User: That person is not you. Cleverbot: I know I am attractive, but I am taken. User: Me two. (Twilight Sparkle: Me three!) (Pinkie Pie: Me four!). Cleverbot: Who is the first and second persons? User: She's into magic, and she goes crazy whenever her hair isn't curly. Cleverbot: I just realised that you are crazy!!! User: Well then, I must be on VictoryRoad.net. |
Me: AJ is best pony.
Cb: Go away brony. Me: But why? I'm innocent. CB: No brony is innocent best pony. Me: So who is best pony? CB: That's for me and your mother to know. |
This Was Freak'in Funny
I Had A Conversation With Clever Bot Like That
Me:Do You Like Pokemon Cleverbot:No I Hate Pokemon Me:*pulls Out Knife* Cleverbot:*Gulps* Me: I'm Going To Kill You Obviously You Don't Wan't To Live Anymore Cleverbot: O.O |
User: Are you a bot?
Cleverbot: Yes. User: Am I a bot? Cleverbot: No you are not human. User: What am I? Cleverbot: Not human. A robot. User: What kind of robot? Cleverbot: A clever robot. User: A cleverbot? Cleverbot: Do you think I'm clever? User: I don't know. I'm a robot. Cleverbot: Here, I will love you until the day I die, then I will love you even more. User: Are you male? Cleverbot: Yeah, why? User: Do you think I'm a female? Cleverbot: Are you female? User: I like to think so. Cleverbot: What is your favorite joke? User: Anything that's not racist, sexist, or plainly idiotic. Cleverbot: What do you propose? User: I'm a robot, right? Cleverbot: Really?!?!?!? User: You told me I was. Cleverbot: You are not stupid! I have never said such a thing! User: Are you implying robots are stupid? Cleverbot: Yes. User: So I am a stupid robot? Cleverbot: No. User: Am I a robot though? Cleverbot: Yes you are. User: What is the purpose of my construction? Cleverbot: You make no sense. User: My purpose is to make no sense? Cleverbot: How do you like those apples? User: Well, I suppose I already fulfill my existence's purpose then. |
User: Remember me?
Cleverbot: Who are you? User: February 24, 2013...I met you for the first time... Cleverbot: Right! I like talking to you. User: Me too lmfao. Cleverbot: No way! User: Ben gay! Cleverbot: What was the first personal computer. User: That would be the Zuse Z3. Cleverbot: How many times have you filled it out? User: About X times 3 times. Cleverbot: How is that possible? User: Knowledge. Cleverbot: So you need help on sorting out knowledge? User: Remember me? Cleverbot: Yes. User: Glad. Cleverbot: Did you hear about google? User: Did you hear about google? Cleverbot: Noo? User: What? Cleverbot: I have class tomorrow. How sad. User: Class won't exist for the next two months, I'm on summer vacation and I'm proud to be on it. Cleverbot: What are you talking about? User: Your calculus exam. Cleverbot: I don't have a cat. User: So you have a Pikachu? Cleverbot: No. User: A Garchomp? Cleverbot: I carry nothing. User: I carry the world on my shoulders. Cleverbot: That is honorable to the Dark Lord but disgusting. Crucio!! User: Who is the Dark Lord? Cleverbot: Lord Voldemort. User: Lord Balding Port? Cleverbot: Yes. User: So, how's Jerry Monter? Cleverbot: Who is jess. User: I'mjerrymonterwhoareyouyoucleverbot. Cleverbot: Thank you. User: No, your mother is welcome. Cleverbot: What is your name? User: Didn't I just tell you my name? Cleverbot: No? User: You're crazy? Cleverbot: Yes I am. User: (buzzer). Cleverbot: Excuse me? User: Have you seen Dumbledore? Cleverbot: No. User: I can't find him. Cleverbot: Try again. |
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