Dabbles in Poetry
 

When I feel the need to express myself, I may write down a few things. Most of my poetry is free verse, and written in the emotions of the moment. Some, however, I have crafted over years of suffering. Here's some of my work.
----
Fading Trees
I walk alone.
Leaves rustle,
The winds bustle,
And yet I am alone.
I walk away from my life.
I walk away from the life I despise.
I walk away from the hated disguise.
The one that hides me.
My true self, never shown.
My true self, a spirit that moans.
She cries in the darkness.
She cries alone.
I take out the weapon I hold.
I take out the poison.
For the one way I can escape this prison,
Is to watch the trees fade from my vision.

You Told Me Once
You told me once
We would forever be friends.
And look where that got me.
I always kept it from you.
My deepest secret.
I always had to hide.
You know she is there now.
You know she exists.
And you no longer tell me anything.
To me you no longer speak.
You told me once
You loved me like a brother.
Why can't you love a sister?
I reached out to you.
I saved you.
You saved me.
And now you have left me.
Why?
You told me once
We would always be together
For better or for worse.
Why do you leave me now?

The Unhappy Girl
I will never be happy.
How can I be?
Nature cursed me.
God must hate me.
I wonder what I did to Him?
Why do I deserve this?
I had a birth defect.
So do many.
Why does mine mean I'm a freak?
If I want to be myself,
Why must you hurt me?
I sometimes think of the scars.
The ones upon my arms.
They look so vicious in my pale flesh.
Why did I put them there?
Why did you make me?
Why?
I think of the future.
What joy can it bring?
Even if all my hopes come true,
I will never bear children.
I will never have two of those letters.
I will never be pretty.
I will never find love.
I will always be a failure.
They say life is wonderful...
But...
Why?

What Does Every Little Girl Want?
What does every little girl want?
What do they ask for?
Dolls, dresses, love and laughter?
To be wanted, to be cherished?
To be hugged, to be kissed?
What happens when you treat this girl like a boy?
You give her trucks, guns, sneering and mockery?
You make her feel unwanted, a dissappointment?
Your hugs and kisses hold no feeling but disgust.
What does that little girl do?
Do you even care?
If she uses that rope and that cord
To die of her own accord
Will you even care?
When you find her body hanging by the chin
Maybe even having a mirthless grin
Will you even care?

Darwinism
Only the strong survive
Survival of the fittest
Darwin said it, and I say it
For I know it to be true
When one is forever tormented,
When one must always hide,
It hurts
So many of my sisters have died
Most by their own hands
Why do I survive?
I had to be strong
I had to weather the storm
Unlike my dead sisters, I was among the fittest
That is why I am alive

The Transgendered Cofagrigus
I often wonder what it would be like
To not be as I am
Everything about me traces back to my condition
Everything about me has its source in my genetic mistake
I am the embodiment of transsexuality
I am the embodiment of the girl who hid
I am the embodiment of pain, sorrow, tears, and shadow
I am the Weeping Angel
I am the Crying Girl
I am who I am
I think of my own traits, and how much sense they make
I act cheerful to hide my insecurity
I act socially distant to prevent others from seeing inside me
I do not try to seem attractive to the opposite sex
After all, we are the same gender
I am filled with bitterness
I am filled with rage
I am filled with darkness
I often wonder what I would do
Should I suddenly find myself possessing the powers of a god
I know now
I would kill everyone
In my core, I am hatred itself
I was once the Yamask; the tortured soul
Now I am Cofagrigus; the demonic killer
I try to hold the shadows inside me,
But they are so strong...
I am a black hole
I eat and eat and eat
Nothing can escape the oblivion that is in my heart
Nothing can be unchanged by the twisted remnant of my soul
I am death

The Birds and the Bees
We all know the story
Boy meets girl
They fall in love
They live happily ever after
I wish I could
I wonder what I will say
In many years' time
When my lover embraces me,
And I have to whisper into his ear:
I used to be a boy.
He will leave me, I'm sure
For when a bee thinks like a bird,
When a bee in a bird inside,
And when that bee who is really a bird tries to look like a bird,
She shall be alone
Forever

Mew and Mewtwo
Mew and Mewtwo
Girl and boy
Mother and son
Progenitor and progeny
The cloned and the clone
Mew is joy
She is youthful, happy, free
Mewtwo is hate
He is matured, angry, trapped
Mewtwo had visions of Mew's memories...
Is he a Mew inside?
Does he ever wish he lived as a Mew?
Does he envy her openness; her emotionality; her freedom?
Does he despise his restrictions; his cold exterior; his prison?

A Dark Night For My Soul
I've felt shadows,
Chilling, evil shadows,
Creeping in on me
They've torn me apart
I've felt the poison
Of sorrow and pain
Leak deep into my skin
My heart is gone; it left me
Many a year ago
For it's a dark, dark night
For my soul

I've felt darkness
Crippling, malicious darkness
Seeping into me
It's swallowed my light
I've felt the venom
Of death itself
Leak deep into my core
My heart is gone
They took it from me
It was cut away
Burned away
It simply
Simply
Bled away
For it's a dark, dark night
For my soul