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  #1  
Old June 9, 2012, 12:19:04 PM
Squirtle102's Avatar
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Default 1000 Mile Love Story

1000 Mile Love Story

-Verse 1-

You're 1000 miles away,
and baby I just pray,
that hopefully I'll be with you one day.
Oooooooh.

-Verse 2-

I must think of anything to do,
just so I can be with you.
Cause your 1000 miles away,
and there's a million things to say.
Oooooooh.

-Chorus-

You're 1000 miles away,
and there's a million things to say,
cause we're writing this love song baby,
you take my breath away.

-Verse 3-

You know I feel this way,
and there's so much for me to say,
you make me happy when things are greyyyyy.
Ooooooooh.

-Chorus-

You're 1000 miles away,
and there's a million things to say,
cause we're writing this love song baby,
you take my breath away. x2

Oooooooooh.

Last edited by Squirtle102; June 12, 2012 at 11:02:47 AM.
  #2  
Old June 9, 2012, 12:21:47 PM
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Awesome dude who you wrighting it for?? (BROSHISH)
  #3  
Old June 9, 2012, 01:49:35 PM
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Well done, Very well done!
  #4  
Old June 9, 2012, 02:16:02 PM
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I like it, a bit short, really. I think an instrumental would be cool. I know you worked hard on this, but I have just one change.

You're 1000 miles away, and there's a million things to say

That is me, because something you learn from pop culture is that people like association. Like in the song 1,2,3,4. Sometimes they use the word for and not four, because it is clever. Using a pattern of words appeals is what I am saying.
  #5  
Old June 9, 2012, 04:23:32 PM
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I'm gonna incorporate TeamPlasma's idea, but he gets the credit for that part.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Squirtle102 View Post
-Verse 1-

You're 1000 miles away, and baby I just pray, that hopefully I'll be with you one day. Oooooooh.

-Verse 2-

I must think of anything to do, just so I can be with you. Cause you're 1000 miles away, and there are a million things to say, so I can be with you someday. Oooooooh.

-Chorus-

You're 1000 miles away, and there are some things I must say, cause we're writing this love song baby, you take my breath away.

-Verse 3-

>You know I feel this was< (Did you mean way instead of was?) and there's so much for me to say, you make me happy when things are bluuuuue.

-Chorus-

You're 1000 miles away, and there are some things I must say, cause we're writing this love song baby, you take my breath away. x2

Oooooooooh.
I made a few minor changes, but depending on the time you wish you accompany it, they might not be good changes for how it flows. I work better going from the melody and then the lyrics...
I'll also agree and say it's really short... And typically the basic format would be verse 1, verse 2, chorus, verse 1 (and if you want to make it really long, chorus, verse 2). But yeah, you'd typically have about 5-6 lines of lyrics per verse/chorus in a mostly standard format...

Last edited by Luxray13579; June 10, 2012 at 09:00:57 AM.
  #6  
Old June 9, 2012, 05:53:38 PM
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Thank you all for the support. I will change the one part to they're are a million things to say.
  #7  
Old June 10, 2012, 08:56:53 AM
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You should make a YouTube video of you singing the song. Broshish
  #8  
Old June 10, 2012, 08:58:39 AM
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It's not going on Youtube, broshish.
  #9  
Old June 10, 2012, 10:03:22 AM
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Are you a singer?
  #10  
Old June 10, 2012, 12:03:11 PM
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Used to be, ever since my voice dropped. Nay nay.
  #11  
Old June 10, 2012, 12:03:54 PM
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Lol, that's when I started.
 
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